My colleague talks with their mouth full. Should I raise it with them?

My colleague talks with food in their mouth, and it is driving me mad. It constantly happens. I have tried to ignore it, but recently, I had a “straw that broke the camel’s back” moment when I asked this colleague a question as they were having a drink of water. Instead of swallowing it and replying, they tilted back their head slightly and replied with the water sitting in the space in their lower jaw.

My question: is there a good reason for this behaviour and if not, is it OK to ask them to please stop?

I’m glad you asked whether there might be a reason that you hadn’t thought of because, as I’ve said before in Work Therapy, it’s all too easy to jump to ungenerous conclusions at work. Especially when a co-worker is doing something you find irritating or offbeat.

They’re an idiot, they’re an oaf, they’re a weirdo, they’re uncaring. These are neat, undemanding conclusions, but the truth behind behaviour can be – and very frequently is – so much more complex than that.

Anxiety, for example, could be a possibility. By that, I mean that if a person is generally nervous about verbally interacting with co-workers, a conversation could lead to intense self-consciousness and maybe even fear. What comes across as bad manners to you, may for this colleague be an important distraction or social crutch.

Or, the person may not be anxious so much as hyper-sensitive to the natural tension that accompanies a pause in conversation. While it’s typical to think of a small moment of silence in a conversation as no big deal, perhaps they think of this as unacceptably awkward and rush themselves.

If you’re being spattered with food or find that they are verging on inaudible, yes, definitely bring this up with them.

The drinking episode does sound odd, but it makes slightly more sense if you think of it as a way of dealing with an irrational sense of urgency. Ironically, what you find (understandably) discourteous may come from their desperate need to avoid seeming impolite.

There might also be a cultural reason. Although I’m not familiar with any particular group who has an established and ubiquitous custom that encourages talking with your mouth full of food or drink. We’re not talking about slurping ramen here.