Weโre not talking about someone mishearing your name and then struggling to repeat it or write it down. Your colleague has it correctly spelt and on hand whenever they need it. But they choose not to spend the two seconds it takes to digitally cut and paste it into their correspondence.
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Whatโs worse is that youโve mentioned it, and nothing has changed. Their idea that youโre โnot seriousโ in wanting your name spelt correctly is an astonishing โ and frankly condescending โ assumption. Why would you mention it more than once if you were just acting on a frivolous whim?
And even if this is something they canโt identify with โ even if they wouldnโt care if someone misspelled their own name โ understanding that it may be important to someone else isnโt a particularly demanding test of empathy.
I find this audacity and rudeness baffling. But even more difficult to understand is what your colleague gets out of this deliberate sloppiness โ not just with your name but multiple names.
Is it a misplaced sense of control? Is it some kind of malicious joy at feeling, and then emphasising, that youโre beneath them? Or is this just a classic case of false economy, a mistaken belief that the workday is smoother when you just bash out any old spelling in any old context, never stopping to check or self-edit?
Years ago, before Work Therapy, I joked on these pages that you could tell a lot about a person by where they ranked on the Hierarchy of Giving a Stuff. Iโve mellowed since then, but the gist of the article stands. Unless thereโs a genuinely good reason for it, repeatedly getting someone elseโs name wrong can be a form of disdain worthy of reciprocation.
Itโs lovely to hear that you and your nearest colleagues get on so well. And I commend you for forgiving the mistake before it became obvious it wasnโt just a slip. I donโt think you should end your friendship with this person because of this, but I do think youโre right to feel insulted.
Iโd love to hear what the response is if and when you mention this a third time.
Send your Work Therapy questions to jonathan@theinkbureau.com.au
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