A list of specials on the trolley screen tantalises me: in aisle 10 is an electric toothbrush for sensitive teeth, reduced from $130 to $65. Was the smart trolley judging me? Did it know I had just forked out $4000 on dental work?
I feel a show pony as I guide my digital trolley. I canโt decide if Iโm on trend or doing people out of a job. I put in ricotta, tinned tuna and pastry. I snaffle highly prized eggs but for some reason, they wonโt scan so I pull them in and out repeatedly till I get the beep. Iโm mastering this until I need to turn around the chicken stand and find myself doing a 10-point turn with the heavy trolley as I try to navigate the shelf stackers and other shoppers.
Iโm done but the digital dashboard is urging me to spend $50 so I can get three stars to unlock a deal at the checkout. My total shop for four items is $30.90.
As I approach the smart trolley express checkout another worker approaches. I must tap my credit card and if I want a receipt I need to fill in my email address. This is tedious and I remind myself to pack my magnifier glasses next time. Everything is apparently easier if you have the Coles app, but I need another app like I need a hole in the head. While there is a bench to pack my goods, I realise I should have been picking and packing as I went. You can take the smart trolley to your car if you want, but a staffer will come with you to retrieve it.
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Iโve since used the trolley seven or eight times. One time the avocados and corn take forever to register on the dashboard and another time the barcode on a packet of hot cross buns refused to scan. As kids we never ate a hot cross bun before Good Friday. This was a sign. Chastened, I put the buns back on the shelf. On one occasion I realised, when looking at the receipt the next day, that the lolly snakes hadnโt scanned. I hadnโt shoplifted since I ventured out with my screaming firstborn nearly 26 years ago and realised when I got home that I hadnโt paid for the cooked chook under the pram.
If I want a low service environment, I go to ALDI. While the cash register operator is always pleasant and I enjoy the middle aisle of shame as much as the next person, the manic packing of goods while trying to pay so you donโt hold people up is stressful.
Iโm a Coles shareholder, so I get the idea that shareholders want to add efficiencies and get more of your information. Coles says the Instacart is about shoppers managing their budget and checking out faster. Some days it is faster and you fly through. Other days you are constantly having to flag a staffer to help, just like with self-serve checkouts, where your bagged lettuce hasnโt registered in the bagging area.
I expect as I get more proficient my smart trolley shop will get faster. But Iโm not sure itโs much benefit for a big shop with bulky items. And if you have just a few items itโs probably going to be faster with a basket and a self-serve checkout.
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Iโm persevering because I donโt want to be left behind and I expect, like scanning bar codes to order food at restaurants and dialling into Teams meetings, it will become commonplace. But at this point Iโm feeling dumber every time I opt for the smart trolley.
Claire Heaney is a Melbourne writer.
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