With bumbling Bazballers, two-day Tests and dead rubbers, this Australia v England series has over-promised and under-delivered

It’s a measure of how uncompetitive the games have been that the narrowest margins, by runs and wickets, have come in this series – in Adelaide (82 runs) and Melbourne (four wickets). The result of both games was apparent a long way out.

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Australia have fielded great teams, but England have contributed through their ineptitude. Last week’s win was England’s first here in 15 years and just their seventh from their past 49 games. Only two have come with the urn up for grabs.

This series was supposed to be different, what with their “Bazball” batting and an express pace attack supposedly tailored for local conditions against an ageing Australian team. Instead, it has over-promised and under-delivered.

The stars have not played enough. Australia won the Ashes with Pat Cummins playing one game, Smith missing one and Nathan Lyon finishing one. Josh Hazlewood played none. England’s “Bazballers” have blown a rare opportunity to win in Australia.

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Take bizarreness out of the criteria, and you’ll struggle to convince me any match this summer sits in the top 20 Tests played in this country since 2000.

The early finishes have made for a stilted Test season. In the 26 days from the start of the series to the third Test, there were just six days of play, and breaks of 11 days and nine between games. There will be a week between the Melbourne and Sydney Tests.

Fortunately for administrators, the Ashes brand (Bradman would be turning in his grave hearing that term) is strong. Crowd records, for either a day or the game, have been broken at each venue.

They’ll turn up in droves at the SCG, even if coach Andrew McDonald does not see it as an Ashes Test but an opportunity for World Test Championship points.

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Plenty rides on the game, not just for CA and the wider Australian cricket ecosystem, which is praying for a five-day Test to stem the financial bleeding.

This series needs something of significance to be remembered by, like Steve Waugh’s century in 2002-03 or a fairytale ton for Usman Khawaja if he bows out. The 2006-07 whitewash was the final masterpiece by one of the greatest teams of all time. England’s win in 2010-11, their first here in almost a quarter of a century, left Australian cricket in crisis. Mitchell Johnson owned 2013-14, ditto Smith four years later. Scott Boland saved the COVID bubble series.

When the next home series rolls around in 2029, at least five of Australia’s incumbent XI will have retired. It will be a new-look team with players yet to debut. Australia won’t be as strong.

It might be a bridge too far for Joe Root and Ben Stokes to return as 38-year-olds, but the rest of England’s squad will be close enough to their prime years.

It should make for a more even series – in theory. We’ve all heard that one before.