Opinion
Where is your next job going to come from? Many people would assume it would be via someone who knows you very well, but the surprising reality is that your next career move will probably emerge from the very edge of your orbit.
All our relationships can be placed in one of two buckets. The first are people we have โstrong tiesโ with and catch up with frequently. Think close friendships, family and colleagues that you really bond with. These are the people we can emotionally confide in.
The other type are casual, low-contact connections we speak to only occasionally. Known as โweak tiesโ, this can include acquaintances, people we met once at a conference, former colleagues we havenโt spoken to in years and friends of friends.
The majority of our energy is focused on our strongest relationships, but our weak ties are deceptively important. The main reason is that they move in different social circles, acting like bridges to bring new information, connections and ideas into your world.
They are also going to get you your next job.
There have been many studies looking into this phenomenon. The seminal one that kicked it all off was done in 1973, when a sociologist found that only 17 per cent of people learned about a new job through their strong ties, while the vast majority of people heard about job opportunities through people they saw infrequently.
The power of weak ties helps you cast your net as wide as you can when it comes time to search for a new job.
This finding has been repeated many times since, including a Stanford and MIT study that looked at weak connections on LinkedIn, and a separate study from 55 countries that found more than three-quarters of job placements can be traced back to people you donโt know well.
The problem is that our weak ties are weakening. When I spoke with psychotherapist Esther Perel for my new book on conflict in the workplace, Clear in Tension, she lamented the loss in recent years of what she calls โthe middle circleโ.
If you think of the relationships we have around us, you can visualise them as concentric circles. The smallest and strongest circle in the centre represents our most intimate relationships โ family and very close friends. The middle circle includes the weak ties, the ones we donโt know as well. The third circle is the wider, social โmega-tribesโ that we are part of, usually reflected on social media.
A noticeable shift in recent times โ especially since the pandemic โ is a decrease in the quantity and quality of our work relationships within the middle circle. This, says Perel, is where we generally learn tolerance and the ability to collaborate with other people who share common concerns or purposes.
So, how can we strengthen our weak ties? To begin, we must acknowledge that the aim is not to draw a weak tie into your inner circle. Aim for well-timed outreaches and light-touch communication that keeps the other person in your orbit, but doesnโt overstep the relationship. Usually one or two thoughtful messages a year is enough, instead of monthly or more contact with your stronger ones.
When you do reach out, move past the simple โhow are you?โ and give them something of value. It could be sharing an article that reminded you of them, or tagging them in a social video you think they would like. If you do ask them for advice, following up with them after youโve actually used their advice is a scientifically proven way to deepen a weak tie.
The power of weak ties helps you cast your net as wide as you can when it comes time to search for a new job. Donโt wait until you need them to instigate a message, itโs as simple as going through your phone or friends list now and sending out a short message.
These overlooked relationships might be called โweakโ, but when you have a wide breadth of them you can reach out to they are anything but.
Tim Dugganโs new book, Clear in Tension: How to get better at conflict, is available for pre-order now from www.clearintension.com.au.
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Tim Duggan is an author, founder and optimist. He co-founded Junkee Media, is the Chair of the Digital Publishers Alliance and writes the monthly newsletter, OUTLET (One Useful Thing Literally Every Time).From our partners
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